View PDF / Spanish

.:HOW CAN I LEAVE THE MORMON CHURCH IF IT TEARS MY MARRIAGE APART?

“I am presently a part of the LDS Church, but I was also raised a Jehovah’s Witness.  Years ago, I was convinced that Jehovah’s Witnesses were in error, so I tried unsuccessfully to “fit in” at what are considered more “orthodox” churches.  I even accepted Christ after leaving the Jehovah’s Witnesses, but I’ve always had doubts about my salvation, wondering if I should be doing something more to secure my salvation. It was while I was searching for a church that I became interested in the Mormon Church because these people seemed to take their faith seriously.  I joined it and about four years ago, I met my present wife who was raised Mormon and is active in the Church. While I have come to feel the LDS Church is in error, based on my personal Scripture study and prayer, I am hesitant to leave it. Where will I go? How would leaving affect my marriage? How can I leave the Mormon Church and go to another one if it tears our marriage apart?”

We can imagine the heartache you are going through realizing the LDS Church is wrong in its doctrine and wondering how this will affect your marriage.  It is never easy to leave a false religion, as I’m sure you know from your Jehovah’s Witness experience, but one thing you have going for you with leaving the LDS Church is the fact that Mormons are not taught to “shun” people who leave like the Jehovah’s Witnesses do.  Also, you won’t find as many conflicts on family activities leaving the Mormon Church as much as you would with a Jehovah’s Witness spouse. For example, Mormons celebrate all the holidays as well as birthdays and they allow the non-Mormon to “pray” and speak of “spiritual” things in the home, unlike the Jehovah’s Witness religion where you are cut-off from your Jehovah’s Witness relatives on all unnecessary communication. So, in this sense, you could leave the Mormon Church, and your wife would still be able to remain a Mormon without divorce or the stigma of Jehovah’s Witness shunning. 

However, depending on how loyal she is to Mormonism, if you leave, it would affect your relationship on a personal level. In this regard, you would need to consider whether she has been through the temple and holds a valid temple recommend, whether she did her genealogy and has been baptized for her dead relatives, whether she has family involved and whether you both were “married for time and eternity” in the temple to gain a so-called “celestial marriage.”  If she and/or you have been involved at this level, your choice to leave the Mormon Church will be a greater shock for her to get over and she will struggle with the thought that she will not be able to have babies in a heavenly world as the wife of a “god” who will help populate planets like our earth. 

As a person who was raised Mormon, this concept of eternity may be quite ingrained into her thinking and very hard for her to give up. She may react to your choice to leave because according to Mormonism, it jeopardizes your so-called “celestial marriage,” an essential requirement for parenting in eternity and the “families are forever” concept of Mormonism. Of course, since Jesus taught there is no marriage in heaven (Matthew 22:28-30), we know from the Scriptures that such beliefs are baseless, but convincing her of this will be another issue.

Honestly, we can’t promise you that following the truth will be the easiest course of action for you and your family, nor can we promise that if you leave, you will “feel” like you made the best decision.  But one thing we can say from experience is that God rewards our decisions to put Him first in our lives.  If He is leading you out of the Mormon Church (and undoubtedly He is due to the LDS Church’s many false teachings on critical issues that affect not only your marriage but your future children’s lives as well), you will be blessed for putting Him first.  Does that mean your wife will follow you and embrace your choice to leave? Not necessarily, but if you approach her in love and share gently and consistently model the truth as you grow in following Christ, you may see the joy of seeing her saved out of this counterfeit to embrace genuine faith in the Jesus Christ of the Bible.  It will be a process and don’t expect that she will embrace what you share with her at first. 

This will likely be a struggle, but we have seen over and over in many couple’s lives where one left and another stayed in Mormonism, eventually they became united years later as the Christian spouse shared with love and patience.  In fact, you may consider writing Bev from our Website Volunteer Email Ministry Team as her husband stayed in Mormonism for a few years before he finally left to embrace the truth in Christ. Today, he is quite active in the Christian Church Bev attends and is in LOVE with Jesus and His Scriptures. Bev will likely be able to advise you from her own experience of leaving Mormonism on how God freed her and her husband:

BEV’S STORY OUT OF MORMONISM

We also recommend that you read the following article on our website as it will give you ideas on how to approach your wife with the truth you are learning:

HOW TO WITNESS EFFECTIVELY TO MORMONS— Breaking the LDS Authority Barrier Step-by-Step (www.4witness.org)

You mentioned that you “accepted Christ” when you left Jehovah’s Witnesses. Does this mean that you also accepted the Biblical teachings concerning the fact that Jesus was not created, nor the Archangel Michael as the Jehovah’s Witnesses teach, nor is He Lucifer’s “spirit brother” as the Mormons teach?  If not, maybe this article would be of interest to you from an Ex-Jehovah’s Witnesses perspective:

LETTER FROM A JEHOVAH’S WITNESS - “How Can Anyone Believe Jesus is God?”
(www.4jehovah.org) 

Finally, as to where you should go after Mormonism and how you can find a good church home, our ministry does not endorse any particular church or denomination.  However, the following articles will give you some basic guidelines to follow in looking for a good church home:

I PRAYED TO RECEIVE JESUS. WHAT NOW? — Should I Join a Church? If So, How Do I Find a Good Church? How Do I Know God’s Will and Avoid Satan’s Deceptions? (www.4witness.org)

AFTER MORMONISM WHAT? — What does an LDS person do when he or she breaks free from Mormonism?

For prayer support, we also suggest that you join our FREE online prayer support group at:

Online Christian Prayer Support Group - Offering Hope for Relatives of Loved-ones in Cults